help!

i’ve fallen into the nineties!

but hey, at least i got my thunderbadge.

i blame stashia and olivia the mostest for this. though alexander cannot get off scot-free. but it’s mostly stashia’s fault- she’s my dealer.

2007

:)

my new year has been pleasant. ushered it in with a non-bondage night. went over to stashia’s and ate a yummy dinner in which the courses were…

• ham hammity ham that i actually liked
• cornbake which is crazy shit but amazing
• sweet potatoes the only sweet spuds i’ve ever liked!
• cranberry sauce with real cranberries!
• gherkins which are godly
• veggies with ranch sauce!
• croissants
  
• and more hammity ham.
• and cheesy potatoes!
  

it were yummy, better than fast food which is what was for dinner at tenn’s house. people in attendance were

• heathery-mom-person-who-owns-the-place
• stashiay-it’sherhouseperson
• isaac & jonas -it’s their house even though they’re annoying
• isaac & jonas’s papa
• wesley
• olivia
• tenn!

and woulda been geneva if geneva weren’t a bitch who decided not to come. (i know geneva. kidding.)

and so we played lots of egyptian rat screw and abalone and shit. && wesley stayed until six a.m. when everybody started to go to beds. && olivia destroyed wesley’s hand in ers.

beauty & teh beasty

mmhm. went to north central texas county college or something like that, on sunday, to watch teh musical of beauty & the beast. was fantastic. loved the orchestra. didn’t love belle so much. beast was hotter when he was beast. gaston was a riot.

i had a chocolate chip and a sugar cookie.

stashia, caitlin, cynthia, and live were there.

well, obvious on the cynth and live, since live did invite me.

we had dairy queen on the way back, hooray dairy queen!

i’ve got to go to dairy queen some time and get a cheesequake, i had a bite of stashia’s and it was divine. the guy at the counter amused me. he did the -flip it over, showing how thick it is- routine, and then when i laughed at his expression he said, very monotonously, “I have to do that…”and when I was doing my order I told him the burger should be dry, and he was all, “I’ll be right back…”

All in this amusing monotone. He sounded so very glad to be there.

we listened to j-pop and ddr and gorillaz.

there were gargoyle stagehands. they made me cackle.

before the stage combat, cynthia was all, “attacker puts right foot forward”. xP

adrian brody

damn hawt.

tenn likes crooked noses. first it was severus snape, now it’s adrian brody.

adrian brody is the guy who starred in the jacket as jack starks, the pianist as some pianist, and played in king kong as pete driscoll. he has a bad habit of being underweight.

anyway, in other more relevant news, rewatched the jacket and was hit by its total “I WAS ON ACID AND I RECORDED MY TRIP” sort of plotline again. saw it with stashia ages ago.

tae kwon do was awesome on thursday, marine recruiting station less so, but the new gunny (despite his awkward haircut) seems okay, and the other dude that made us run the ist and do knowledge was okay. it really was an easy workout, but then we worked out in tae kwon do too and i broke two dimesized blisters, one on each toe.

reread lots of isaac asimov’s short stories. finally really bothered to more than skim the evitable conflict, because it was kind of odd, and actually read the one about r. daneel olivaw. i really enjoy someday, just because it’s so odd, and sad, and really kind of creepy, and makes you quite glad the Bard isn’t a mobile model.

watched america’s got talent, was much more impressed than i have been with, say, ‘american idol’, that plague of humanity. there was an eight year old comedian who made fun of black people, but it was okay because she was black, and it was really effing funny. her delivery was great. ’syd the kid.’ how cute. uhm, there was a magician who got in a microwave thing and came out black, (don’t get the trick behind that one!), a fucking psychopathic juggler who kept dropping things, then begged for a chance, turned around and picked up knives (think they were fake) and scared everyone. then he juggled them while balancing on a ball. there was another mediocre juggler, then an awesome juggler, then a basketball team that used crazy choreography and those jumping boards and trampolines. and, a guy that did handstands only they were AWESOME and he was able to do so much with his body. it was hot. mmm… there was a breakdancing cow. kind of creepy. the rappin’ granny was awesome.

some weirdo trained his dogs to do amazing stunts. i liked the front-paw-standing one.

rocky and i are going to do that and then win a million dollars.

marine general order 12: to walk my post from flank to flank, and not take shit from any rank.

bondage remix

okay so i went to stashia’s last night, it kicked all sorts of derriere, especially because i’ve missed being friendly with her for so long. we got definetely loop-id (our lucid, yet insane, state of being at these events.) gen & rach didn’t come; rachel just ‘cos and geneva because we didn’t want to put her in the situation of watching rocky horror picture show (which we missed out on seeing in the end, anyway.)

we drank really good coffee, the smell alone was amazing.

we drank lots of mountain dew, in lovely scandinavian beer mugs, and wondered why we we were putting such radioactive looking material in our guts. didn’t dissuade us though; we asked for refills. we had wendy’s that her mother bought us, yum. they forgot my baked potato chips, but it was still good. band people (who work there) are incompetent, anyway.

we worked on a 1,000 piece puzzle and managed to do the edging, most of the upper right corner, the lighthouse, cloudyspots, and some trees done. it’s a lighthouse scene by some dude. we got tired of that after a long time (over an hour, i’m sure, because we watched prince of egypt and listened to rocky’s soundtrack, and linkin’ park live in texas). then we played monopoly lotr edition, and we eventually started playing outburst jr. which degenerated into a sort of charades/clue game. at around five, we got in our pajamas (this is five a.m….) and me and stashia collapsed on couches while olivia read aloud from shel silverstein when the sidewalk ends. it was very calming. and then eventually stash fell asleep, then i did, then me and olivia eventually fell asleep on stashia’s bed (because there was only one couch.) i considered waking stash to drag her too, but she was really out of it.

and prickles bit me.

eight hours a day, five days a week; my freshman year

i was reading over my past (drafted) entries.

i haven’t updated this since 2005. thankfully, i have a xanga i’ll prolly transfer posts from. but… still, so much has changed, y’know? it’s really a bit startling. i know i’ve grown physically, and i’ve learned a bit. but i read some of these entries and wonder who wrote them. my descriptions of people are off. here’s a list of some of my first impressions, and short bios of the person i know now. in short, this is tenn, a year later.

mason, the sad boy rachel hugged
the first entry about him mentions him in passing, how he gave us ADT people water at the football game. he was the sad kid at fish camp, i remember, the one who was like there, and rachel was like ‘YOU NEED A HUG!’ and so she gave him a hug. now he’s one of my friends. still don’t know him as well as i might, but hey. i could kidnap him, and he knows it. [took me no time at all to outline a way to do so, either.]

csm sunshine, who heckled me and jacob
so the first time i really talked to ‘csm sunshine’ was the game. he harrassed me and jacob then, the k-i-s-s-i-n-g thing… later that year, he helped me out with rifle and stuff. then he was no longer our csm because of ridiculous credit-transfer bullshit. but he still helped rotc. and tomorrow is the last time i will see him for a long time, because he’s shipping off. andrew was cool. i wish i could have known him better, but i’m a fish, and the fish didn’t join the notfish too often. ironically, one of the coolest memories i’ll keep of him involves him throwing me into a trashcan. multiple times.

brandon my armed commander, who also heckled me and jacob
brandon. i think out of everyone here, my opinion has changed of him the most. the initial reverence, ‘cos of his insane rifle abilities. the growing trust in him as my team commander. the sudden anger and feelings of abandonment when he just stopped talking to me after i joined color guard to help them out. the girl-like hatred of him when he broke up with jessi. the annoyance. then, again, now i respect him somewhat, and i can laugh with him, and i consider him a friend. he’s always going to be there, because he was my first real commander, and he taught me all the basics, even the fancy-march. which i had so much trouble with when i was just starting, but hell, that and the sixteen count manual are easy shit now.

jacob, the guy who was harassed with me, and who was a real pain in the ass
jacob bugged me so much in the beginning of the year. the middle of the year, and even nearer the end of the year. but the bugging got less and less. i respect him, somewhat, now. he’s still not my friend exactly, but i don’t hate him. and i also learnt that he could be effing hilarious once in a [great] while.

sergeant first class, retired, kruschke ddajj!!
so yeah. sergeant. he’s great. i remember when i called him sir and he made me push so much, and then i was like, ‘i just call everyone sir.’ and later in the year, when he was one of my teachers, but just that. and then when i started thinking of him like a surrogate dad. i trust sergeant. even if he /does/ make me push for saying sarge, but not pyro. :] and also, i remember my befuddlement at his /ddajj/ and his heart-pulling-out-stepping on manuever (something you don’t get if you don’t know him or armypeople). and i can’t wait til next year, when i can hair-ddajj him again. because despite the fact that he can have a helluva temper when stressed, he’s really an okay guy.

major crack-dealer
mygod. i hate major worse than i did at the beginning of the year. ’nuff said.

meredith, shorty who i was in awe of
We weren’t half-bad as one of our ranking officers put it- I can never remember her name, but she’s a bit short and she’s tough, so her praise was most valued. – a direct quote from my fish days, which honestly made me laugh. mer-mer is the awesome. she’s going out with andrew- they’ll prolly get married. she’s flipping cool, and i admire her more now that i know her more- but not in that annoying fishlike way. i think tahmorrow’s the last day i see her for a while, too. and for her, it will be longer, because she’s to be an officer. go mer. the lumberjack monkey-bite.

geneva, who disliked me for a bit
times have changed so much. geneva and i didn’t get along really, last year or the beginning of this one. i thought she disliked me somewhat and she probably did, especially with the shane debacle… but now, we talk daily, and i can’t wait to see her tomorrow at tae kwon do. geneva and olivia is my best friend, yannow? i can’t explain it. but geneva, aka john is always there for me, and she usually knows what’s best for me. and i needed her especially this year, and she came through. there are so many things i want to remember about her- most of them i probably won’t, but still…

olivia, the quiet sweat shop owner descendant
i became so much closer to live this year, too. she kept me from cracking up, i swear, and when i did crack up, she helped put me back together, john too. i’m a lot closer to her now, and i would do anything for her and john. live’s the rational bit of me. and when all three of us (live, john, and tenn), we are a mass of cynicalness. i haven’t spoken to her since school ended, but i know i will.

stashia, the fluffmeister
things have changed, from the way they were, from days of oreo-shit and the sound of rum. escaflowne episodes, eight discs of them. the emotional sponge doing her work. things have changed, a lot, and we’re not as close as we used to be… things will never be the FUCKING SAME between us and it pisses me off SO FUCKING MUCH but… y’know, i’m just going to have to deal with that. i don’t see a way to change it. no matter what the fuck i do, i can’t fix things, so whatever, right? she’s still my friend, and i look over entries about things we’ve done together- look at pictures, eat a piece of oreo no bake pie, and i swear i almost cry. but… people grow up. i guess. but when people grow up do they have to change so much?

christian, dell from hell
dunno. we weren’t friends at the beginning of the year. to be honest, i thought him a fair bit of an asshole. then he tried to /deathglare/ me, and i responded with an even stare back. and after that, we became good friends. best friends. we talked nightly, and we texted eachother, and we xanga’d. i intro’d him to stashia. he’s dating her. we’re not so close as we used to be- some fights. he’s still my friend, though. but things aren’t the same, and i’m going to have to get used to the fact that they aren’t going back. he doesn’t like ROTC anymore, and ROTC is the corner stone of my life. sometimes, i think that’s the source of our problems.

travis a.ka. pyro, the manwhore
he’s still a manwhore. :] but now he’s also my right guard, and him and i have got this crazy, wonderfully awesome mistake thing. when one of us fucks up- even badly- during a color guard, half the time we fuck up together. and it’s nice, yannow? having someone to mess up with, and take the blame with, and then harass david with.

rachel, death on the doorstep, ray-ray.
so we weren’t close, then we were closer, then we weren’t so close, now we’re closer again. i kidnapped her and we went to the ditch and we caught bellpepper and we saw sperm. fish, of course. and she’s my ray-ray, always. the theatre people stole her away from us, but hey, she’s still MY ray-ray. we built dain bramage together. we sat on a creek bank upside down together. we took off her pants in the park and left them in a tree. (her pantlegs, that is.)

katekate, the chick on armed with me
kate and i are sperm. we will always be sperm. kate stuck by me when i needed her. we stayed in a room in san antonio together. she’s an armed chick like me, and like jordan. kate-kate & tenn-tenn. friends forever. (/cut to scene of skipping through flowers and reunion music.) you won’t get the aforewritten, because you’re not kate. deal with it.

and if i forgot you, i didn’t. i just didn’t see something about you in my earlier entries so didn’t think to write something. if you feel forgotten, leave a comment or call me or e-mail me. and if i haven’t spoken to you, do call me. i miss people.

my freshman year wasn’t fantastic, but i wouldn’t trade it for anything. everything this year has changed. it will probably change next year, too. people i barely knew i now wouldn’t trade for the world. people i really knew i barely know anymore, but still wouldn’t trade for the world. this year ended leaving me with an odd taste in my mouth. the bitterness of tears, but the sweet taste of friendship.

yeah, i did get that saccharine. please don’t throw up on my site.

fifteen days later- a summary

date: 9.25.2005
title: fifteen days later
subject: homecoming, shopping, tag, dancing

Anyway. I know. I haven’t updated.
I really haven’t got an excuse, so I won’t try. Let’s just say I’ve been busy, and truly American- meaning I’ve been lazy, o’course. So, recent events in a compact little container devised for your in(di?)gestion-

shop ’til you drop
So all this week I’ve been pretty rushed if I do say so myself. And indeed- I /do/. Wednesday I went to get a dress for the dance, and it is an experience I do not wish to repeat. Mother and Grandmother are insane, forcing me to try on dresses I highly dislike, and in the hundred- dollar range. I tried on about ten I detested, they said looked oh-so-wonderful on me, then went to Gadzooks hours later, got a top (costing $10.80) and went back to Hot Topic and purchased a layered skirt ($34.60). How easy that is.

On Thursday, after grueling Phys. Training, I got a pair of high-heels and some leggings (which I never ended up wearing.) Again, my mom made me try on shoes I despised, and were from Nordstrom’s- therefore were all highly expensive. 100 dollar range. She was all “Oh, you have to pay good money for shoes.” Bullocks. Went to Foley’s, paid $32.00 for a pair of modest heels. Was still too much, but my mom is whack. So my entire outfit cost less than $100.00, and had I left it up to my parents, it would have cost twice that.

A frugal teenager is apparently not an oxymoron.

there’s a gap in my memory!
I think I did something Monday. But I cannot remember what… I did start dry-firing in ROTC though, which means practicing steadying the air rifle and firing with a charge of gas, but no pellet. Then Tuesday I began shooting for real, at a tiny target ten meters (roughly 30 feet) away. I sucked. On Wednesday, I read and ignored the IDIOTIC ‘Getting A’s in High School’ video that the Major put on for us. He’s Puerto Rican, I’ve mentioned that, and he’s got this inspire-you thing going on, and he’s one of the worst… because he really doesn’t notice that we teenagers don’t care. Thursday, I finally figured it out.

I switched arms with the rifle, and it was sudden magic. Magic. I was doing extremely well- crazy well. I did my ten shot exercise, all but one made it on the black target, which is roughly the size of a silver dollar. Two near bullseyes.

Woah.

Dirty Dancing – or, how I played with fire (a.k.a. pyro)
So I went ’stag’- single- to the dance, and it took me a while to break loose. My hair was down in a ‘cascade of ringlets’ (read: pain in the ass down to my lower back), I wore my modest 1.5 inch strappy heels, had my skirt & blouse combo on, as well as hosiery. No one else was wearing hosiery- so I skipped off to the bathroom very carefully due to the whacko heels, and took them off. Looked fine without them- a lot better, actually. Had on some lipstick, that was all. My mom did eyeliner but it looked like hell, she did half the upper lid and made it all cat’s eye ish. Which works on older people, not a fourteen-year-old masculine chick. I mean, I don’t look masculine- but I behave very much so.

So I met Stash, who wore an awesome black & pink salsa looking dress, Rachel who wore a black dress (I think the corset one would’ve been better) etc. Got compliments, blushed properly and complimented back, scared the hell out of various ROTC guys. All they know of me is the chick in guys baggy jeans and black tee-shirts standing at attention emotionlessly, with hair done up tightly. So when I was in a dress, laughing and joking and keeping my balance gracefully in high heels, it would have been as scary as me finding them in a dress.

Bought my $5.00 ticket, went inside, took a while to warm up- laughed while Stashia and Rachel cut loose. Then joined them, cutting loose with my crappy rythym and really didn’t care that I sucked.

There was a false cityscape blocking the windows, made out of blackened cardboard. Laaame. And there were pillars around a pathway- so that people could walk down the redcarpeted steps spotlighted with their names announced. Boring, really.

Danced for a while, always with moi girlfriends- but I hadn’t really started when Joel asked me to dance. I said no, since I hadn’t gotten into it yet. He was Rachel’s date, and it was rather sweet, in an antifreeze sort of way. One of the last dances, Rachel was with him her head resting on his shoulder, slowly swaying.

Moi: It’s so sweet.
Stashia: Yeah… makes me want to cut.
Moi: I know.

xD So it was really a double-edged blade. The fast songs were fun, the slow dances moderately upsetting.

Then Stash left to go do something.
I’m guarding her drink and watching the dance, people jiving, and enjoying my rest. Standing.

Next thing I know, Pyro has his arms around me and is quite unabashedly dirty dancing, as do most of the guys. It was bloody hilarious, and what did I do? Play along, of course. edit a year later: I WAS SUCH A PRUDE!! this post makes me feel really lame but i’m going to leave it. not even change dirty dancing to grinding, which sounds less lame.

Ahahahahaaa. Later on he asked me to a slow dance- nothing important, mind, because he’d danced with all the ROTC people. (As he put it- all the girls, and some of the guys, haha.) So our dance was cut short by some bull going on, I never really found out. Kevin Arguello seemed to be lurking the entire time, dancing some. Music was decent- a D.J, not a band. We did the Macarena and we got FUNKY! Yes, that’s a dance by… Someone. edit: it damn well is important now!

Some black dude, rather good looking, started dancing to various songs- really, really well. He was Michael Jackson incarnate, this time staying black- a good thing, I say. A good thing. He did the Moonwalk and various other things, and we encircled him and cheered. He danced several times that night, angering many males I’m sure, as their women flocked to watch him.

A couple of girls macked- full on tongue kissing. Equal opportunity lovers, and it pleased the males. Sarah Hagen was shocked and disgusted- she’s not a homophobe, she claims, but a lesbophobe. Harbors some crazy fear that they’re going to go after her, she admitted.

All in all, it was an awesome night. Wesley seemed upset- I think Kristen was being her bitchy self, and Stash tried to get him to dance but he refused. Stash danced once with Joel, though mostly she flew solo like me.

Quoth Stashia, beginning of the dance:

And these are the memories we should have our entire life. That sucks.

Initially, I agreed. No longer. It was fun. Not extremely fantastic- but nice.

tenn; artist

[banner-ishy]

I officially rock.

This took awhile, but it’s done. Sadly, I use a smaller size for my banner on Lidelas, but this works. I might make a smaller one, that’s wider than long, because those are the sort I prefer. This experiment was a success though; I think it looks pretty darn spiffy if I do say so myself. And I do. Say so myself, that is.

[the sleepover 2]

I promised you readers (points at Stashii and Rachel and Catey, the only readers) that I’d finish my sleepover information. Considering that Stashii and Rachel know anyway (being the host, and being bothered by us while sleeping consecutively), I’m giving up.

Terry. You probably read this too, because you’re a nosy step-parent, but if you do… CD. Now. I demand it.

We also watched music videos, and I need to get The Queen of the Damned soundtrack from Stashii if at allll possible. -Joyful- Heh, and I’m about 100 pages in to TQotD. I would have it done by now, but reading late at night under the covers is my only opportunity, so hey.

[crimson moon]

I am addicted to a game called Crimson Moon RPG. It’s awesome, and not focused on roleplaying. Vampire vs. Werewolf vs. Hybrid is the idea of it, and basically, you choose to be one of those races, then you fight a lot.

Very awesome. I am Zane, I.D. 6388, and am in Righteous Aura, a clan for Crusader Hybrids. If you’re one of my friends that I know is dedicated, feel free to join as a hybrid and become a crusader, I’ll talk to Elze and Nats (clan leaders) about admitting you.

I have an excellent record.

Alignment: Crusader (259)
Networth: 95
Record: 2320/238/2558

That’s the current one, it changes daily of course (mostly going up in wins.) There are few that can defeat me. -Shameless plug- AND I OWE IT ALL TO RYAANNN! -Gleeful-

Ryan
noun : Awesome dude that invited me to CM, saves kitties, and is co-leader of Righteous Aura. Also happens to kick ass.

So, anyway. I like CMRPG and you will too.

[rebellious rant]

Stashii, you are ‘rebellious’ according to my mother. Talking over the breakfast table at IHOP, I mentioned you (can’t remember why, must have been in correlation with “Crazy psychotic freak” or something. Mom: I don’t know, TeNeal. Stashia seems somewhat rebellious to me. … Right. What the hell? I mean, there’s nothing to rebel against. My mom’s whacked. She’s certain all my friends are bad.

-Snicker-

She should meet Rey.

Anyway. She’s been on my case these past few days. I love her, of course. But I like living here at my grandmother’s, where people don’t look over my shoulder and ask who I’m talking to! -Argh-. ’s annoying. I mean, everything. She looks over my shoulder while I’m text messaging Catey. I e-mail someone, and she asks what I’m typing. Yesterday I was writing to a friend who’s been missing and she goes:

Mom: What are you typing?
Me: -Annoyed- None of your business.
Mom: -Gets angry, I suppose reasonable, but I was so /tired/ of this. I had complained to my grandmother that very day.- I was just asking what you were doing.
Me: I’m talking to a friend.
Mom: Well, see you could have said that.
Me: You would have asked what.

Later on, she sneaks up behind me while I’m still writing to that friend, and goes “Boo!”… I was so not amused. She said she hadn’t read it because she can’t read that fast or what not. (I type very fast and had sent it.)

So… Yeah. I’ve gotten 1 hr. lectures on why I can’t watch Pitch Black, why I must stay away from homosexuals, why everything I do must honor and reverence the Lord, and if I do anything wrong, she will know.

Because she did it at my age. Great influence, there. I mean, I love her and respect her. Don’t take this rant wrong. I /do/. But it’s just…

I am an intelligent person.
I will not make her mistakes.
I hate being punished for her mistakes.
I have a career planned. I’m not gonna be an idiot.

I wish she would treat me as an adult…Because though I am fourteen, Stashii’s mom tends to treat her as an adult. My grandmother treats me as something of an adult. Respects me. All I want is a little respect.

Anyway. That’s all for now.

merf

[one two, one two, breathe!]

I, being the awesome Tenn (…right) have started an exercise regimen to get all toned and such. I’m out of shape… However, I’m skinny. Twiggy. e_e;; So I’m doing two sets (24) per arm of 5 lb weights, among various other exercises. A lot of ‘em. I started a week or so ago, doing 50 on each arm… because my mom said do as much as I can, and I have some weird endurance thing going on. Not masochism, Stashii. Hmph.

[all night long]

I went to Stashii’s yesterday, on Thursday, with Olivia. However, Rachel had a photo-shoot going on, so she couldn’t. -Laughs- RACHEL! A PHOTO-SHOOT? It just doesn’t computer. Hope you do well on the play-thing.

We actually slept this time, at around 8 AM I think… fell asleep then, til 10, and my grandma called. To pick me up of course. -Angry- I begged and I got an extension til 11.30. Fun. So woke up (eventually) and had coffee.

The night before was awesome, though. We watched Family Guy, American Dad, and best of all… Queen of the Damned. Sexy Lestat. I borrowed Interview with the Vampire from Stashia. More later.

My Kami!

[still alive for better or worse]

Seems crazy when I don’t update in ages, and I forget small things that happen and such. I mean, I suppose my life’s been pretty good for a while now, sans some whack things, the typical growing pains, and hell and such. School’s finally over; that’s something I’m definetely glad for, in a way. But it also means I won’t see my friends as regularly; be able to shout at Matthew and such… Various things I miss. Like, eating a cupcake while listening to my friends talk over lunch, dodging food; well, maybe not the dodging food part. Talking to my English teacher, believe it or not. Theatre is a major thing, too. Though next year, I’ll be in Select Theater One, so it’s all well and good.

My kami, I must register for high school.

I am…excited…and…just, I dunno.

[goodbye forever]

You know, I’ve always considered myself a pretty smart person when it comes to friends. You know; I’m not the sort to fall for a guy and what-not.

Ha.

Well, anyway, my best friend- period, the guy I spoke to every damned night and was a psychiatrist to at least once a week, was a real bastard. ’s funny, I guess. Funny in the morbid sort of “Holy shit, I just lost my hand” way. Except… yeah. Let me explain. I figure I’m only writing this down for my future self’s benefit, so what the hell.

I have known Wayne for more than two years, I guesstimate. A long, long time; but I have never once met him in person. We met, as it happened, on Everbane; or was it Dalsa Baleth? I think it was EB, but we both moved on to Dalsa Baleth from there… Hm. I don’t know, don’t see the point in trying to remember. At any rate, he quickly grew to be my best friend. I cared. Loved, maybe. Very platonic, at least, on my part, until he started some shit about liking me. Me: 12. Him: 17. Yes, a saner person would have noticed the fucked-up ness right there, but hell, I was naive. So I just shrugged it off and told him to keep it normal. We did. And such. I talked to him, worried about him, stressed. Stressed. I mean, regularly he told me he was suicidal.

Let me laugh for a minute, here. Okay. I’m done.

So, anyway. We talked, I admitted a helluva lot of things to him. Things like that, you know? Then he was all, I like you still and shit, and I fell for it partially.

Told Avan.
Avan was shocked.
Avan explained to me the shit he has done. Then -namechange- wanted to speak to me.
…
Wayne is a player.
Everything he told me, he told her. The same. But directed at her…
So anyway, we blew up at him, he acted like /I/ should forgive him and made up Brendan.
See, every time he ‘kissed’ me it was Brendan. This is all computer, you know. You know what else begins with a ‘B’?

Bullshit.

So I laughed at him and such, I was really rather calm. I still am. I’m not hurt, isn’t that strange?

To top it off, he called me a hearless bitch. -Feels prideful- Kial thinks we should make a Lidelas HBC club, and all us girls could have our own chapters. Hearless, you ‘heard’ me right. I made fun of that, he got all defensive and pissed and said don’t make this a joke. Wayne, if you’re reading this, I’d just like to drive the point home that /you/ are the joke.

So anyhow, he made fun of my faith, said something to the point that I’ve destroyed a life, see how my god likes me now, etc. I figured I was doing my God, and everyone else in the whole world, a favor and what-not, but he didn’t think so I suppose. This was yet another suicide threat, but this time it fell on deaf ears.

I feel fine, surprisingly enough. As I told Padawan, “If that’s my best friend, I don’t want it to be.” She got a lesson in the same with the Wench. So, despite Stashii’s insinutations to the otherwise, I’m not upset, and I’m happy to have my real friends, like Stash. And Olivia… and Padawan…

He also asked if Stashia does something bad, am I just gonna dump her, because if I act this way with my friends I’m not going to have any.

Here’s news: Friends don’t lie and cheat.

He really screwed around with -namechange-, ‘going out with her’ at the same time he was going out with Jess. Even if I could have forgiven him for ‘what we didn’t have’, because there were no specifics stated, I wouldn’t ever forgive a guy for something like that. It’s called being a girl. I have pack-instincts, got it? Fuck with a fellow girl, or a fellow friend, and I will never be friends with you again. Kyo learned that, he should have; he knew how angry I got about that for Ala’s sake.

… Yeah, I shouldn’t get into that. Check through my old posts; it’s probably among the very first if you’re interested in the Kyosu Mineko scandal. But Kyo is among those I can’t really hate any longer; but I don’t think I’m really friends with him any more, I talk to him once in a while, as well as his brother Seig (who just IMed me! shoutout!)

My life sounds like a soap opera….

I’ll post more in a bit, hopefully.