sometimes, i’m absolutely sure that i’m a liar and i do support the death penalty and don’t beileve there’s redemption in everyone and don’t have a quiet temper. those times are typically involving my grandmother, when she’s screaming at me and cursing me then asking god’s forgiveness for her use of his name in vain- then she goes and screams at me some more, so in a snarky voice i tell her that god disdains more things than her saying god damn.
that’s when she slaps me and i think; if she does it again i’ll catch her hand. but i’m never able to, because even though i know her, i don’t expect it still. and so i simply say again, snarky voice; “things like that, too.”
which earns another.
i hate her, sometimes, i really do. even though i tell olivia i don’t hate. i told axel and rachel that yesterday morning. smart-ass axel said no, i don’t hate her.
i guess he’s right. i can’t hate her, i can only be angry with the bitch. i dislike her intensely, as rachel said.
fucking axel. why does he have to be right?
fucking grandma. why does she have to be crazy.
there’s significantly more venom directed toward grandma than axel.
speaking of whom; he’s healthy, and smiling again, and almost normal. i’m so glad. i think i can finally cry my worry out, now that it’s over. man… i’ve been a shitty, inattentive friend.
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